Monday, 27 December 2010

Some Nice Ice

Ice at last. On christmas eve and throughout christmas day the temperatures dropped off the scale. The lowest was -11degC. Perfect. What was not so perfect was the timing, with it being christmas i had to go along to festive things of great importance, well to my family, mostly as im not around much. So plans were made to go out early boxing day morning. However my partner for the morning,bailed- hangover probably.

Plans remade, 6am start on the 27th. Cool. So going to bed the temperatures were still -1/-3degC. At 5am the next morning i had a rude awakening. The ice was melting and Bob was on his way over! Stuffing shreddies and water down my throat i grabbed an assortment of sharp and melt things shovelling them into a sack and running out the door. On the road by 545am we headed high to avoid the 'warm' 2degC temperatures. Hitting poor road conditions we whacked out the snow chains. The race was on and we meant business.

Eventually we got to the layby and dumped the car. Humping our packs to the bottom Torpantau we could see it was melting slowly-for the moment at least. As we came up to the first ice steepenings we donned crampons, harnesses, axes, rope and all the other paraphenalia and began soloing up the easy ice until we stood beneath the main 30m pitch of the route.

Starting the main pitch of Torpantau Falls (III)

Managing to weave my way up between the hollow, melting, running, shelled ice i threaded a route up the ice bosses. Eventually coming to the final headwall few metres. Seeing a thin crack up high to my left i aimed for this, stuffing a decent cam in just as the crux of the route came up. Torquing the axe pick in this thin crack i moved up, reaching back out right to hook on any turf that was half frozen and jumping my feet up to by the cam. Give it another tug, Bomber!

Reaching up again hooking the picks through heather and other stream type veg i got some good 'uns. Running my feet up so my front point was back in the torque crack. Twist the shit out of it and go. Stand up, rock right. Done.

Was a brilliant pitch and well worth the III. Conditions improved slightly as we crept higher up the mountain but not by much, it must have been hovering at OdegC at the top. It wont be in for much longer and looking at the longer term forecast for this week, i doubt anything else will be.

So finally after a string of early non-starters i finally got some south welsh winter ice into my belly. Good stuff.

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

A mixed bag

The conditions in South Wales havent lived up to their expectations based on the last big freeze. Firstly sunday we got to llanbradach only to find that the water was still running freely down the vegetated steps much to our disgust. So that day got bagged and we went home dejected.

Keen not to repeat this i held off going out again until we'd had a good freeze-thaw cycle. So instead went and picked up my skis from a mates house. Now considering they cost me £15, i used my climbing boots and i cant ski i think it went quite well. According to my mate "they are a special set up only for me" which i think means they're completely fucked to anyone who knows anything about skiing but by the end of the couple of hours i hit the streets / parks / hills of Cardiff i was able to stop-ish, turn-ish and go off jumps that were about waist hig, getting around 6ft jumps that went on for 6m. Was a good laugh,and not as steep a learning curve as i expected.

AirBourne off one of the larger jumps

After my brief ski fun went to Boulders climbing wall, its shite so i wont post much. Did a few routes, and am now called the 'northern fairy'. Nice.

Today however went slightly better on the climbing front. After getting up at 7 and waiting for Bob in the cold for 45mins we headed back to Llanbradach, picking up a guy called Ken on the way. On arrival it was surprisingly mild, considering it was -2 in Cardiff, nevertheless we headed to the crag, but lowe behold it was sopping wet, possibly even more than on sunday. Dejected we walked around the crag looking for something to scratch up. We did actually find a non-summer route corner groove thing that had mud and some frozen bits on it so headed up that. Bob give it grade 5 but hes a hard bastard. Felt hard is all i know.

Llanbradach in the Snow. Normal falls come in on the left of the crag.

The Corner crack. We stepped left onto the triangular wall toward the top

Despite it feeling hard, it would have felt harder had i not fixed my crampons to be monos. Now this is something i have avoided doing for 4years now mostly through laziness and being scared they wont climb as well. But they do, they didnt rotate off holds like i thought they would and i was able to stand on much smaller holds more stably.

After we finished scrathing around on this route, we headed off getting in the car off to the Climbing Station, Bob commenting "that guy can talk" referring to Ken who hadnt stopped since we saw him first 2hours ago. The climbing station is pretty good, is only bouldering but thats made up for in the fact that they are good, there is a good variety and the staff arent cunts like at the Boulders wall. If im able to get to it, im definately going to be going to the station from now on. Rest day tomorrow, well might do some skiing but rest for my skin, they hurt now.

Monday, 20 December 2010

Fail...on the ice front anyway

The title says it all really. Having managed to get out of the city and head up toward Llanbradach we were disappointed to say the least to see that only one poor thaw cycle had come through and so the ice was non-existant. I would put pictures up but they would only be depressing.

Instead me and Bob went up past Taffs well main to find some drytooling hole. Which we did, it was bolted but is in no guide books and the routes were shite anyway. Might get into troube for this especially after the Millstone debacle but meh, we only did one route with just axes and torqued in thin cracks most of the way, was probably about F6b/6b+ route so not bad on our parts considering it was our first drytooling routes. The second route we did was just in our boots without axes, this would have been nigh on impossible with sharps as the holds were rounded. Had the most painful screamin' barfies ever though, thought i was actually gonna chunder. As time moved on we got bored and the routes we could climb in mountain boots in -3degC temperatures decreased, we ran away to asda and bought reduced bakery stuffs (reduced to 9p!). All in a days....frivolity.

Friday, 17 December 2010

To the 'Diff

Having left sheffield yesturday travelling to Cardiff i couldnt carry all my stuff that i wanted. The first items to be lef twere my skis. Now before i get judged they were £15 from a charity shop including poles and a bag. Bargain!

Anyway, over night and throughout the day snow has fallen on south wales, a foot of it to be exact. I woke up wishing i had them to play in the proper deep powder. Thankfully i have a mate driving down this way tomorrow, so i should be able to get them asap. Then the fun will begin. Its all training afterall. Theres a project in the pipeline that will need me to be able to ski! Nothing is done without prior thought :)

New mixed routes are also to be checked out asap, probably sunday, give the roads time to clear and get the morons out the way.

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Andy K

This time last year i saw andy kirkpatrick for the first time (tickets were going cheap), i wasnt massively up for going as he seems a bit like someone who attempts things (Harlin onthe Eiger solo for example) for the media attention and stuff to talk about in his lectures rather than actually being a climber. Sat there listening to him rabbit on about kayaking after Ian Parnell had finished his talk (it was a double) only confirmed my ideas more.

Last night however i got a ticket (cheap as someone couldnt make it) and was pleasantly surprised. This wasnt the Andy kirkpatrick i remembered or imagined. He was actually funny and jsut talked about climbing (thank god). He also went into more detail about some of his el cap exploits, many of which i hadnt heard before. So this post is for andt, thanks man for changing my view on you. Your not a prick after all.

(this is a link to his blog which has a sick steve house and Marko Preljzikisk video on it:- )

Saturday, 4 December 2010

More Peak winter.

Got out again yesturday for a bit of semi frozen chossy fun.

Headed to mam tor after being woken up at 8 (quite late) to say i was already late for my lift. Grabbing my stuff and drinking a bowl of porridge i ran the mile to the shops where my lift was waiting and raring to go.

Walking into Mam Tor is quite special, ive never been underneath it before and despite being reasonably small, it looks very Eigerish. Cant imagine how amazing the actualy Eiger looks. Getting to the foot of the gully at around 930am me and a friend (Paul) who id text the night before to see if he was keen, geared up and ran up the gully as a warm up / to have finally done it. We then moved onto the Central Rib (III, 4) thinking it was a grade II/III. It wasnt in brilliant condition, with the turf being semi frozen or muddy and ripping as you placed your feet and axes on the clods. I wish i had some pictures to show how brown the whole place looked during the ascent.

Reaching the top of the rib was nice as we had, had no decent gear for the length of the route (3 full pitches) a peg and a sketch nut being the sole contents of our routes gear. I think paul was a bit chastened, this was after all his 4th winter route. His comment of 'Well that was a bit different' and then declining the opportunity to do another route summed up his feelings toward the day. I enjoyed it though, it wasnt even type 2 fun, mostly type 1. Good shit.

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Winter hath cometh in the PEAK

Its a bit mental but its late November and ive been able to go out in half decent conditions an climb Back Tor via 2 routes today.

There was a sprinkling of snow dusting the peaks and with temperatures dropping after a semi-thaw (-1/0degC) me and a few others headed out to Back Tor to see what was going down in Peak land. Getting up at 530 is never my idea of a good beginning to a day, but on days such as these, it has to be done. So getting out of the house and in the car by 7am we were able to be first on the route by 8am getting the first ascent for the season! So early!

Running up the thing in about 20minutes me and Sam were able to walk back around and do another route, soloing near each other both times. As the sun started licking the ridge opposite you could feel the temperature fight its way out of the depths of the thermometre. Not much else aside what we climbed was 'in' really (the turf was frozen but it feels wrong winter climbing without at least some snow) so had a wander up and over Mam Tor. Eased back into the winter of 10/11 we headed home, coffe was drunk, smiles were smiled. Now back to the work i should have been doing.

Sam at the top of Back Tor Gully after its first 2 ascents this winter

Back Tor Condition

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Its been a while...

Its been a while since i last post. Mostly through laziness and a rapid increase in my work load.

For the last two months ive ben able to get out consistently on the grit, which to be honest has been a god send. As after Pembroke i realised my head had completely gone from the lack of use over the summer. So i got back on it like a keeno. Starting again at S and working back up is demoralising but there are worse places than Stanage to do every VS and HVS you can lay your tired, rash covered hand on.
Building up the confidence is a slow process but now in November im back doing E2s and the odd E3 consistently again which is slightly better than before. Solid base and all that. It feels good to have finally done the classics i was too ego driven to glance at last time. Pushing the grade has also become a more pleasureable experience as has days soloing 25-30routes.

Anyway, the snows have come so i guess its bouldering season (mid-psyce level) and of course SCOTLAND!! (uber psyce!). Ive got not a lift up north for this weekend but am heading to Back Tor tomorrow so will post about the conditions tomorrow eve after ive recovered from my 530am start....

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

A Poem

This isnt mine and i would never claim to be this literarly sound but its good and sums up my ideals well.

What if this Road?
What if this road, that has held no surprises
these many years, decided not to go
home after all; what if it could turn
left or right with no more ado
than a kite-tail? What if its tarry skin
were like a long, supple bolt of cloth,
that is shaken and rolled out, and takes
a new shape from the contours beneath?
And if it chose to lay itself down
in a new way; around a blind corner,
across hills you must climb without knowing
what's on the other side; who would not hanker
to be going, at all risks? Who wants to know
a story's end, or where a road will go?

Sheenagh Pugh

Monday, 6 September 2010

Rath of the Weather Gods

Having got out quite a bit in the last week i had my hopes up for the following week, when i was heading to pembroke again for some cranking with uni mates. However the weather had other plans.

Above: Sam retrieving the ab rope from above Heart of Darkness (Mowing Word)

After buying food (mostly bagels and a bag of peanuts) from the service station we headed on our way along the M4. Got there and the weather was pretty good, much to our delight. However after setting the alarm for 6am and grabbing a few bevvies from the pub, we woke to find greyness and not brilliant weather. Got down to Mowing word and were the only people there surprisingly on a sunday. The forecast must have scared most people away. After doing two classic routes and being a pussy on another, we headed back to the tent in the rain. From this point onwards it didnt stop. So after a free night in the vicars field, we headed home, collecting free supplies of coffee, sugar, salt and pepper for Sams box of fun from a service station. The weather seemed to brighten up as we got near Cardiff so we changed direction and headed for Ogmore, only to be caught up by the shit weather once again as we got out of the car. On the plus side Sam saw Ogmore and seemed pysced. Yay another body into the fray.

It wasnt a massively productive couple of days but we had a good laugh and did some classic routes. The highlight was the goings on of the hedghogs that liked our tent at night. As after we chased them off with a flip flop on the first night they came back again the second, stealing our bin with its discarded tuna tin and also taking sams shoe for a walk into the middle of the field and into the rain. Vengeful hedgehogs indeed.

Now at least i get a week of training before heading back to uni and peak limestone, the grit and boulder training sessions. Every cloud has a silver lining. Its mostly rain but, i only go training when its raining so its probably a blessing. Never ending pysce.

Friday, 3 September 2010

A Black File Day

Having been away on a 'normal persons' holiday for the last 2 weeks (ie swimming, and reading) i had a lot of time to do feck all and think about stuff i want to do in the future and be able to say i have done. So i got thinking about mostly climbing goals, areas to visit etc and came up with the idea (well i actually stole it from somewhere i forget, sorry if its your idea) to make a 'black file'.

I initially got all the info for places like the Wrangell range in alaska and how to get to Islamabad, but it soon spiralled out of control to include maps and times for the Bob Graham Round, Iron man triathlon and the High Peak Marathon. Hopefully its something ill keep going and tick off eventually. That'd be a good day.

Whilst trawling the net for images of ranges, maps of routes etc i stumbled across the 737. Being Welsh originally despite not living there anymore, I have been bombarded by the doings of Richard Parks, but up until now ive ignored most of it. Hes attempting to do the 737- 7 highest peaks, 3 Poles in 7 months. Its pretty epic but the whole 7 summits thing is a bit old. Im not going to go through the ethics and all that stuff because if you care then you'll already know and if not then itll take more time than its worth to explain. Get someone to do it down the pub. What i dont understand is that people are doing bigger, badder, harder shit than this but get very little recognition. He is doing it for charity so im not going to hate on him too much but, he should do a marathon or something. Not use what is holy to some people as a gimick to make money and keep his profile up for a few months (7 to be exact). Minor rant over. Am off to Pembroke tomorrow for some crushing if the weather allows, so will post after that but get yourselves a black file. Good way to while a way a rainy day. And keeps the pysce level up continually!

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Back to the grindstone

After a weekend of nothingness and no training i got back in the gym today and after trying to explain what i did in the gym to a mate and failing, i thought id put it down in writing so i dont forget/get confused and can tell them to just read it on here.

Warm up:- 3 mins level 5 on cross trainer

20mins highest level on hillmode of cycle machine
50m grappler/30 x 3 sat twists with 10kg } x 2
5 x 10 squats with 35kg / 3 x 10 leg raises } x 2
Lat bar pyramid upto 9 x 61kg } x 3
Bench 40kg x 10 } 4 times
Summit machine on Hillplus, level 12 for 20mins
3 x 10 inverted rows.....and your done.

Isnt actually that much when i look at it like that. Meh.
After the gym i had a bit of a break today then headed to Boulders climbing wall in Cardiff. I would put a link up but its absolutely gash so wont bother. I was amazed at how the quality of training facilities will dictate how hard you train and ultimately how much you develop. The climbing centres in Shef are fucking brilliant and so there you train like a mofo and get strong both physically but also get good technique. Cardiff is just shit, you cant get strong cos you get pissed off first and theres not one single techinial thing in the place. Sorry i lie, there is one corner, that none of the wannabe WADs can do but is about VS 4c on the grit. Gotta love a proper route that sandbags dicks. Pysce.

Monday, 9 August 2010

The accident posthumous

This post is going to be a little more light hearted than the previous ones. Since the last one ive been and come back from cham, got fit and lost weight in the gym, done some first ascents and done some Pembroke horror show repeats, and had a birthday. Sick

First to Chamtown. Got there after a pretty long trek on the coach with a pissed french dude and some loud smelly fat women sat near me. Not a brilliant start really. Arrived well early so went and got our free bus passes from the tourist office by pretending we were staying in one of the campsites. Then headed toward argentiere to get established, the shack had some long term residents in it so hti up Bernards campsite. Managed to only pay for one nights stay as the next day we fucked off up the mer de glace to the Couvercle hut for some rock acclimatisation. After the slog up the sketch ladders ( I would stick in some pictures but unfortunately have none) found the hut under the Moine, the hill we'd come to do. Checked into the hut and scoped out the start of the south east ridge integral route planned for the next day, looked a lot longer than the 600m predicted by the guidebook but assumed it was foreshortened or something. I wasnt feeling brilliant at this stage, and after an oright nights sleep didnt feel masses better. This feeling of being completely battered continued all next day on the ridge, we later worked out to be about 1000m long (fucking Lindsay Griffin. Twat) I was unfit and not ready to be in Cham, having had to take 4 weeks off all exercise 'cos of my foot, jumping straight into a long rock ridge route on Chamonix granite was asking for trouble. And thats exactly what i got. 17.5hours after starting we got back to the hut, having only drunk a litre of water and some scraps stolen from the huts breakfast bar. I wasnt in a good state. It was on the way down that i decided i was coming back home to the Uk to get fit. So thats what i did. I left Cham 4 days later after running away from the campsite at 1am after the climbing world cup, escaping to the shack for a night out on the veranda under the stars. Brilliant night. Next day i got the coach home and the training began.

Above: The slog up the Mer de Glace, the '600m' ridge of the Moine is the left hand skyline.

Trad in a sporty world. When i got back to the diff i went to the gym everyday for 2 weeks and started toying with the idea of going climbing. The first time i went climbing was at a newish crag a bunch of climbers have been developing called Crymlin near Pontypool, South Wales. They'd done what most sports crag bolters do and stand at the bottom spraying clip-able bullets at the entire place. Which is another discussion in itself but one i try to stay away from as its more hassle and notoriety than its worth. But Gary Gibsons a twat. Anyway, there was a solid F6a+ crack, that was slightly wider than fist jams but not wide enough for stacked jams so with my knuckles baring all i went at it with my blue camalot an cracked the beast. First trad ascent done. Felt good, was good as well as my 'mentor' did the first ascent and bolted it. So the young upstart gets one up on the old fart. Only got to do routes like Kitten Claws and Owl and the Antelope first now... is gunna take some doing.

The following weekend i got into a chavmobile, complete with massive soundsystem, massive wheels and no boot space to make my way to Pembroke, stopping at Llanelli to have tea. Had a brilliant weekend, got scared in mother scarys but it all culminated brilliantly in hollow caves bay. Sick place if you've never been.

Above: Spot the climbers..... (both are wearing white tops on the third pillar from left)

So we abbed into this place with the intention of chekcing out a route called Galactic Glory (HVS 5a) a 3star route he'd never heard of or done. It turned out he'd not heard of it for a reason. The higher beings at Rockfax had made it up, well some of it its really more like E2 5b but is definately 3stars if not top50. Sooo good but definately gunna lure some unwanting HVS people down there. Shotgun the crag swag! Was a bit epic getting out, an RP#3 protecting the crux moves on the second pitch onto the arete being the high point, but i thouroughly enjoyed myself and as i hadnt climbed properly for pretty much 2 months i was happy with the progress.

Above: Me on the arete of Galactic Glory a definate 3star route in an 'atmospheric' setting.

Back from Pembroke, training continued, then i had my birthday. Another year older, a little more jaded, a little less accepting of societies dicks. But meh im off on holiday, a real person holiday with a pool and beaches and shit. Will have to see how i cope, but a week back in Pembroke when i get back should sort me out :D!

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Realism Rant

Sat on trains going up and down the country I've managed to see a lot of the country and the people that live in it. But not just on trains, on TV, in papers, in pubs. Britain is full of dreamers. Not the Amercian dream kind of people though. People in this country think things are always better than they really are. This isnt always a bad thing but when you've got the wool fully pulled over your eyes you do begin to wonder. English football yesturday was a perfect example. 1-0 to Slovenia, a team the papers led people to believe Ingerland would trounce. But no people all over went wild when they won marginally by one goal and come second in a group they should have walked. WTF. Now these people need a slap and to see reality. England football team are shit. If they go on to win ill eat my pen but i caqnt see myself having to do that in all honesty. But it jsut typifies our society and its ways. Things are believed and publicised, then fall through massively but people keep on believing. Its like the government. They promised prosperity and a better economy. What we got instead was 20% VAT, a salary freeze and no jobs. Brilliant. Let the brain drain begin.

Life has many leeches and this society has more than its fair share. Not jsut on the economy but all over you get people who sap others for what they're worth. They give nothing, only take.
Usain Bolt got it right when he said the British don't work hard enough because they dont need it (chatting about athletes but it applies). Its true though, very few people in this country or society strive for greatness, and if they do they often stumble at the first hurdle, being held back by pen pushers and time wasters. Mark Twight said that "When the green flag drops, the bullshit stops" if only this were as true in main stream life as it is on the hill. The bullshit needs to stop coming out of peoples mouths.

Now I know I can jsut ignore all this shit and get on with my life but when it gets in my way and imposes itself on me I put up my guards. Have a rant, fight it out. It gets to me how people will bend over backwards to impress other people-not help, impress. They'll change to fit in. This is goignt o sound really antisocial, but I feel like Ive grown up recently. I dont give a damn what people think, Im tired of them looking down on me for the way I live. So I cut them out, sit them down off their pedastals. Think about it, why would I, social niceties? To save peoples feelings? Fuck that. Do what makes you happy. If someone or something is stopping that happening get rid of it. Easier said than done, but once the ball gets rolling you'll be glad of it,

This sounds like a massive rant, and to be honest it is. I needed to get it out of my system and to lay it down for myself (as blogs are inherently peoples opinions) when I falter and be nice to dicks, and for other people to see if does happen and you dont have to be a dick to do it. Because everyone wishes they told their boss / teacher / [insert] where to go. So do it. Stand up for yourself. Become realstic. See the world for what it really is. And if you dont like what you see. Change it. Dont just put the rose tinted glasses back on.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010


I have started trying to work out how to use this blogging thing as im not exactly what you would call computer literate as those who know me will testify to. In my exploration i found something refered to as blogroll, im not entirely sure what it has a certain resemblance in saying to the material used to wipe your arse. and to be honest thats where most blogs belong. you read so much shit on the internet at the moment. on UKC idiots hide behind their keyboards spouting twoddle on things they know very little about.

Dont get me wrong there are some proper good writers out there, most of whom no one has any idea of (have a gander at the links below). Most are climbing related as i have a little bit of a one track mind but im sure there are others out there. (although this one does crash out every so often, brilliant none the less) (good for climbing thinking and drinking sophisticated stuff...margaritas) (not updated for a while but a good read)

These blogs give an insight into good writing and the thinking behind some really fucking good climbers and human beings. But they seem to be pretty much alone. Since ive been sat on my arse ive trawled the internet and both old and new climbing magazines for anything that catches my interest. and to be honest it took a while. The most interesting was an article by John Redhead in the latest climb magazine. Im not going to give a review as thats a bit gay but he raised the point that the BMC are an insurance company effectively, so why do people join them as a club and have them dictate the way in which mountaineering and climbing move forward in this country. Hes probably a bit out of line but i like that, its why i like stevie hastons writing and mark twight (absolute god!! if you dont know about him google him!!) they force a reaction. and dont give a shit about who they offent in what they say.

This action of not giving a shit, is often mistook for arrogance in real life, writing is one thing, but if you are as confrontational as these guys to people in front of you, your more than likely gonna get clocked. I would. Now ive been accused of being a bit abrasive some times but i have toned down since i was 18. Was a bit mental back then. Heck im a fucking different person. A calmer more 'normal' person. I still rile people up with my opinions, on my uni club, life, the government, the economy. But ill save you the pleasure of that shit for another rant. This one is over.

I guess what ive tried to say really long windedly, is that dont always believe what you read and make decisions, be abrasive and have an opinion that you stick to. If people disagree then they disagree. If you value their opinion move on, if not then fuck them.

The Beginning

Being stupid. Bit of a party piece for me really. Up until now it had gone oright, a few minor chips to my teeth from opening bottles was all i had to show for it. Then the other week it all went a bit pee-tong. After an end of exams night out a bit worse for wear and decided to climb some park railings on the way home.

This isnt so unusual in itself but when I was hanging from a spike at the top it broke. Shoddy workmanship really. I fell 4 metres onto my left side, straining my wrist (hopefully only that), hurting my ankle (which i found out a week later via phone call from a sheepish doctor that it has a fracture in it), chipping a tooth and killing another. Not a huge list of injuries but enough to stop me going to the alps for a full 2 months of crushing. Have had to put it off for 3weeks, fingers crossed ill be glued and stitched back together by then! Ive started this blog to kind of keep tabs on myself and to have a constant reminder of how fucked off I am/was at this point in my life and how I dont ever want to be back in this place. ie act as a way of putting me off doing retarded stuff.

It feels like ive lost a lot in the last week, the ability to walk and eat pain free being most prominent. So if your reading this dont do what i did/or do. Be cleverer than that, or you'll be kicking yourself (metaphoric of course, dont want any more injuries). Listen to people who tell you to stop, especially those who care for you most, they stand to lose a lot as well.

I'm going to come back a brand new me. Im going to take a stand. No more drama from now. Just the good kind, the crushing kind.