A Big Bubbly Easter

Just like in those cheesy American High-School film, we all watched the clock tick its final tick. Swinging the hands, aligning them properly, letting 2 weeks holiday start! Racing out of the door, past the droves of kids. I got on the road quick enough and headed north.

Meeting Bubbles at Warrington, we would continue onwards hitting the Lakes late that night. The journey was a pretty mundane affair of traffic jam games with other trapped road users, and what with the snow a zombie-like-apocalypse occurred on the A6, with cars up turned and strewn across the snow covered lanes (the drifts the next morning were higher than the car windows....) But we made it through unscathed...I'm just that good at driving.

What with the snow, our initial plans to profiteer from punters on Lakeland fells got binned and instead we tried to get our winter climbing heads on. We should have got our skiing brains on, they would have had a much better time! Unfortunately the quick freeze had meant the icefalls had formed quickly and so were as brittle as our nerve, at least at this early stage of the week (later in the week, some freeze-thaw meant good ice was in the lakes).

Thwack. I had tried to go up but my balls had done a runner. Bubbles also had a crack but when he pulled of a big chunk of probably quite key ice, we decided to run away and call it a day.

Bubbles running up the gully to escape the aptly named Innaccessible Gully

With our tails firmly between our wintry legs we spent the best part of the next 4 days hiding in the Eden Valley. This place was a really good solution with easy access, some semblance of warmth, nice setting by the river, and to top it off not bad climbing. Spending the first few days at Armathwaite we managed to tick off the vast majority of the starred routes at the crag. 

The Thursday came and it felt about time to get on something hard after soloing a few of the E3s the day before. Getting to the crag a gang of trainee squaddie's were camped in the sand pit that the Exorcist rises out of. So not wanting to perform to an audience we carried on walking, ticking a few more of the crags good routes and generally warming up for the main event. After an hour or two and with little chance of them going any time soon, I sacked up and got the ropes uncoiled under the route. Going up and down a couple of times to put in the clip for the peg and a small wire a little higher I was trying to psyce myself up, to little avail. Eventually I had climbed up past the point of return and so just had to plough on. The climbing although never desperate but reasonably sustained meant the ledge before the final bulge- and the lie down it provided- was very welcome! The dirty as shit top out (there was some shit- only bird shit mind you) added a final bit of spice to a good 4 days of cragging on the Lakes esoterica. 

Pre-final dirty bulge on the Exorcsit (E4 5c)

What with the gang of squaddies thinking we were already a bit loopy for doing this big steep route, I thought I'd give them a better idea of just how many screws were loose. Stripping off, and soloing the VD on the river side of the overhanging wall was a straight forward ascent. The jump off into the icy water less so. With the crowd counting down, iphones out and recording there could be no backing down. So off I jumped. It might have been 10 metres high, but that wasn't the problem, the cold was. Clawing my way out of the river bollock naked infront of 15 blokes wasnt ideal, especially as the gentleman vegetables had been evacuated to warmer climes further north. 'Your fucking nuts mate'. The feeling was mutual, at least I wasn't contractually obliged to be shot at by the Taliban. (There are pictures of this on Bubbles' blog)

The Easter weekend when winter conditions were prime, I was occupied profiteering so unfortunately did nothing productive aside make a bit of money and make a few walkers smile.

With Scotland holding every ephemeral ice line in condition we felt spoilt for choice, Bubbles was eager to drive up on the Monday night but after over 1000 miles already driven I couldn't handle it and postponed him until the following day. Waking up feeling excited by the prospects of spending 2 full days on the Ben crushing. I was a little sad to find Bubbles fully wired on coffee and rambling on about doing the Cuillin.... in a day...in winter. Bollocks. So after a brew and being shown hundreds of pictures of the amazing ridge (it really does look amazing!) we started the drive north.

Ill cut out the vast majority of the story as its pretty dull and a little embarrasing. But ultimately we didn't do it. We got lost on the walk in at 3am and took a rising traverse to early onto the ridge proper, ending up at the TD gap at about 7am. Deciding to try and keep going I led up the TD gap, but dropped my axe in the process (it was tied to a sling over my shoulder and came untangled falling down the wrong side of the ridge). With axe rescue and abseiling extraordinarie Bubbles deployed, the axe was shortly retrieved but too much time had been wasted so we headed down.

Bubbles after TD-gate

On the walk down to the car I was once again convinced (see a pattern emerging...Im a sucker for peer pressure and Toms mad-cap schemes - although they do provide some good fun) that driving quickly back to Fort William, buying some rock shoes (we forgot ours) and then going cragging in Glen Nevis was the best shout. Then doing a route on the Ben the next day. Driving home and 'working' hard to recoup all costs. That was the master plan. And it sort of worked. We got a 4* HVS done in Glen Nevis...maybe not worth the price of a pair of rock shoes but they went into the budget, and then Point 5 the next day was immaculate. With hooked out ice and little spindrift we raced up the route in 2.5hours. Being back down at the CIC by 11. Not bad really.

Tom leaving the belay on P2 of Point 5

La Sommet. Top of the Ben

A Big Colourful Bubbly Bear

The long drive back to the lakes then commenced. At this point the spaz wagon was taking a fair beating, with the drivers door hanging off the hinges- forcing all entries to be made through the passenger door or windows- added another angle to the adventure. 

 

All the chauffeur driven miles finally got to Tom

We then went profiteering and had a final evening at Reecastle (brilliant crimpy crag- the route we did was pretty wet, which didn't help the tiny crimps get anymore useful but still good climbing)

Ei Ho, Ei ho Its off to 'work' we go.

And that was the end of my Easter break. Driving south with Bubbles so he could go to a wedding in Devon and I could put the shirt and tie back on for work the next day was all a bit sad. I had thoroughly enjoyed my Easter funsies. I think looking back we should have done the 2 days on the Ben, it would have provided more climbing and less driving but I wouldn't have learnt anything about Skye (Its gorgeous!) so swings and roundabouts! I also found out that when Tom and I get back from our travels later in the year we are going to be well and truly unhinged. Not  mad at each other, just completely off our tits nuts. It should provide a wealth of entertaining stories.

Reality Sucks.

7.20. The alarm gets snoozed. 7.25. Fuck I should really get up now. Then the ensueing madness as I try to find my keys/socks/phone/trousers/ [insert item of clothing or vital work day item].

Driving to work listening to music makes it all seem ridiculous. Saving money to go away. Working a '9-5' job (except my hours are more 8-3.15) Monday-Friday. The odds are never in your favour. 5/7days you cant make it out to climb. Especially with the stupid clocks going backwards and the daylight being non-existant. Im not complaining as such, because I need the money and I enjoy the work. I just wish that one wish that everyone with a passion has. I wish for there to be more hours (of nice weather and daylight) where I can get on living my life doing the stuff I really want to do. Climb.

Ah well. The last few months the weather has been shit and then it got cold for a bit but so much snow came down that in South Wales it was tough to get to anything worth climbing without a 4x4 or chains. Both of which I unfortunately dont have. I got to Sheffield and did some cool routes and problems just after New Year, as Scotland was in full on storm mode. Went to the Wye Valley, did some awesome routes (as ever- if you've never been get yourself there! Brilliant mulitpitch tradlimestone above a forest and river). Skied in the UK. Made a Snowboard. Got 1 winter route in North Wales ticked. Learnt to aid climb. All cool stuff but I inevitably want more. And more. And more. But for now I'm saving, climbing, and meeting some cool people. And as always occasionally over-indulging in Saturday night fever.

Bubbles and the Chimney of Porno Noise

Skiing on the Garth. I fucked up my thumbs but it was fun.

Ringing Oedipus' Mum. She said 'Hi'

Late Starts, Early Starts

The plan for Thursday was to get upto Pen-y-Pass and race up Crib Goch and be stood under Reades Route at about 2. In reality we left the car park at 2 as Toms lecture had dragged a bit, so going at a reasonable pace meant we were under the route at about 4, not ideal really. 30mins a pitch...for leader and second.....shit.

Uber-Alpinist Tom showing how to carry bags for light and fast ascents

After dispatching the first pitch without too much huffing and puffing. Tom had the lead, which from where I was sat (yes it was a sitting belay overlooking the Pass....Fricking amazing!) looked- and later felt- desperate! Hats off for that one! When he finally reached the top and the ropes went tight on the belay it was most definately dark. So head torch switched on I started up. Now climbing in the dark is all well and good if your head torch lights stuff up enough for it to look like daylight, mine however is less bright than a lunar eclipse, and so finding edges for the feet and hooks proved to be quite tricky at times but none the less I managed to haul my carcass up the route! Stellar!

Tom after eating a shit load of mental-mint cake

Rock and roll.....lads on tour

So after finishing the route to screams of 'Run Ueli, Run' we kept going heading over Crib y Drysgl and Snowdon. According to a wandering soul (who we did escourt off the hill safely...ML practice) who had a thermometer but no idea, it was -8 on the top, probably a bit more in the wind....Cool.

So getting back to the Cott at 10.30 I was pretty tired but had a note off another instructor (Poppy) about going open boating at 8am the next day. Who was I to say no, and it would be a good excuse for a rest day! Getting up shattered and feeling increasingly ill the next morning I crawled to the kitchen, and had a shed full of coffee and weetabix. Buzzing!

Heading to the Dee river we got waylaid but some old fisherman person (fucking hell they're uptight!) so had to move on and get on a bit further along. Ah well. Paddling these tank boats is not to bad really, aside getting freezing cold feet its ok, you can wear Dachstein mitts for a start and look like a proper hero. Because obviously its all about the image of paddling. As we floated down - well I was mostly floating and trying hard to avoid rocks whilst the other 2 stylishly went around on the river - we saw what has been called 'the most scenic and beautiful river in North Wales'. It may well be in autumn but in winter its just a river with loads of dead trees on the banks....

It has been  a pretty full on week to say the least so I think some beer drinking and rugby watching is the next port of call for this wayfaring jippo.

First Welsh Winter Routes – Ironic

So after catching up on some much needed sleep Monday night and a swift Indy session on Tuesday plans were hatched to head up to the East face of Bristly ridge on Wednesday and prospect for some new stuff. With Gaz leading the way we got upto the routes at 930… this welsh winter stuff is pretty laid back! We went straight for the Giants steps route, well I say straight it took a sliht detour as Baggy was sat under the route Gaz had first had in mind. But we got the better route in the end.

Climbing the first pitch quickly and smoothly it was no time until I was shoved onto the sharp end or my first welsh winter route with the prospect of it becoming a new route at the same time! So with some bomber hooks and half frozen turf I swung out onto the side of the pinnacle, a high step later I was crouched in a small cave contemplating the next few moves. Leaning further and further out on a shit hand jam, I managed to scrabble together a hook for both axes. Lurching my feet higher in the cave now and pulling up to lock off the axes to bring my feet up again onto a small edge and a smear out left. I was up and over. Bit overhangy that!

Me on the crux pitch of Dwarf Steps Variation

Chucking in some gear for good measure it was a pleasant mixed romp for another 20 metres to the ridge proper and the end of our route….Dwarf Steps Variation (IV,5).

Gaz heading back to the East face for more climbing

Heading down the ridge we decided it was too early to head back so abbed off the ridge back onto the grassy eastern slopes and belayed under a summer VDiff rib. It was Gaz’s lead and so he racked up and hooked and smeared his was up another new IV,5 Grooved Buttress (it follows the summer route), a good little route! Baggy joined us on this last route as his partner was ill so had left after finishing their route.

Gaz starting up Grooved Buttress

All in all not a bad intro to Welsh winter with the first routes ive done being new ones, ironic really. Theres so much potential for new lines it’s a bit crazy really. Keen to become normal tomorrow and head to the more classic lines that people actually know what they are. 

All I Wanted for Christmas was Winter....Fuck you Santa.

Taking a trainee instructors role in North Wales I hoped that the last two years snow fall and freezing temperatures would continue and give me at least a couple of Welsh winter routes in the bag by the time I headed home for Christmas. But alas it wasn’t to be with driving rain and high winds characterising our winter through December. So planning ahead I got myself and a friend organised for a trip up north to Scotland for some education on becoming squalor proof following on from last winters trips.

It wasn’t to be however with the early Scottish conditions disappearing with sky rocketing temperatures across Scotland and as only 2 days possible climbing would be gained I stay home and did battle with the shite weather, mostly by drinking and seeing old friends.

Managing to get only 4 days out climbing in 3 weeks if fucking shocking especially as they were all rock days- no ice to speak of! Unheard of for me- particularly in the last few years. Its pretty depressing really and the only thin making me not top myself is…. Laziness probably because this ‘winter’ is actually looking that bad!

Driving back north to the Cott today I was surprised at how down I was feeling, Ive had a few phases of being very down just before Christmas but that was to do with feeling useless and lost mostly. And I guess it’s the same now, if I cant go climbing and often go for days without seeing friends or speaking to anyone but myself what the fuck am I doing here. Im here to work my balls off and get as much personal and leader experience as I can over the next few months. So my New years resolution is to firstly GO BIG or GO HOME! And secondly to treat this opportunity as I did when I first got to North Wales and do everything I possibly can to have fun and go to bed at the end of everyday tired from exertion not essay writing.

Boom. So Happy New Year everyone and hopefully the next posts you read will be of adventures come what my regarding the bollocks British Weather. Either that or ill divulge some of my Christmas antics involving golf.

For now enjoy some pictures from the festive period and a video a friend made of our trip to Frankenjura in the summer.

On Khartoum (E2 5a - but could have been F9a for all it mattered as none of the rock where i am in this picture was stuck to anything else, it was like trying to swim up overhanging weetabix....not ideal)

Ian abseiling into Ogmore for his first fun times experience

Rob on a F6a+ at Portland (Consumme)

Frankenjura from Michael Bamford on Vimeo.

Back into the Swing of Things

Since the challenge has been laid down ive not had many opportunities to get out, exams, work and rain being the main excuses. However since last week ive managed to get out a few times.

Firstly ot Rivelin, climbed ok again jumping straight on some E1 slabs, but they're my bread and butter so quickly went off looking for other things to play on. Mark tried Too Much an E2 6a slab and crack at the far end, he hadnt managed to get the crux gear placed. So coming on to sub him in, I climbed through the 6a crux placed the gear an promptly fell off. A mixture of laziness and lack of any other gear on my harness aside the RP crux gear hastened my decision. Mark pulled the ropes and headed on up quickly clipping the gear and pushing on up the higher crack. Screams of pumping out were squealed and just as he was making to clip his next and last piece of gear he came off. He fell the all of 5m ripping the RP (the metal sides sheared off, oops wrong size) and scraping the deck. nice try though. He seemed to enjoy this falling off malarky as he later took 3 falls off The Eye.

After the antics at Rivelin we headed to the corries on the weekend. Brilliant day out saturday, not so good sunday but all goes toward the logbook.

Bowel Explosion Pre-Climb (Photo: M.Rankine)

Heading out early saturday morning, we started the walk in to sneachda at 7am hoping to beat the crowds, which we kind of did. Getting to the bottom of the Message we were keen as we were first there, so began gearing up, but unfortunately the nights food had my stomach in uproar so i tended to the call of nature firing off some logs. By which time 2 people had passed us and got on route, so hoping our other route choices were free we ran along the bottom of the crag to Pateys Route. It was free, but did look suitably buried. Ah well, Onward! Mark climbed the first pitch which was maybe tech 4. to the first stance. From there i collected the gear and headed up to the crux pitch. What a crux. Clipping the insitu gear under the huge chockstone and trying not to completely destroy my powdery footholds i swung over the bulge. Bridging as far wide as i could i managed to get the tip of my front points smeared on either side of the gulley. Pullinh hard on my left axe i reached up high. But just as i swung with my right axe to get a placement, both my feet slipped simultaneoulsy...Fuck!

Heading up to the Chockstone Crux (Photo: M.Rankine)

Getting a tad scared, i managed to crawl my feet back up onto the wall and pull back up to get established above the chockstone. Gave so much to that pitch i was very relieved to reach the stance further up.

Once we had ticked this route we traversed the snow-choked gullies of Aladdin and headed to the toe of pygmy ridge. It was in beautiful nick, bit lacking in turf but quality route. Mark led up off the crux pitch as i had the crux of pateys, he did well climbing on sloping holds and spaced gear. Finishing the route was a pleasure as the technicality dropped but was still engaging and thoroughly enjoyable. Getting to the plateau we realsied we were an hour late for the bus already so ran down the hill via point 1141. We got down to only be told a group of walkers sharing the bus were late as well so we sat down to wait. 4hours later with no communication they text us saying they were on the plateau.

The next day on the basis of the shite forecast (70mph winds, white out and lots of powder) we went on a reindeer safari round the hills behind Glenmore lodge. Needless to say we saw no actuall reindeer, just some foot prints. But it was a pleasant 13km walk that is good for the logbook.

All the money i had left.....(Photo: M.Rankine)

More Peak winter.

Got out again yesturday for a bit of semi frozen chossy fun.

Headed to mam tor after being woken up at 8 (quite late) to say i was already late for my lift. Grabbing my stuff and drinking a bowl of porridge i ran the mile to the shops where my lift was waiting and raring to go.

Walking into Mam Tor is quite special, ive never been underneath it before and despite being reasonably small, it looks very Eigerish. Cant imagine how amazing the actualy Eiger looks. Getting to the foot of the gully at around 930am me and a friend (Paul) who id text the night before to see if he was keen, geared up and ran up the gully as a warm up / to have finally done it. We then moved onto the Central Rib (III, 4) thinking it was a grade II/III. It wasnt in brilliant condition, with the turf being semi frozen or muddy and ripping as you placed your feet and axes on the clods. I wish i had some pictures to show how brown the whole place looked during the ascent.

Reaching the top of the rib was nice as we had, had no decent gear for the length of the route (3 full pitches) a peg and a sketch nut being the sole contents of our routes gear. I think paul was a bit chastened, this was after all his 4th winter route. His comment of 'Well that was a bit different' and then declining the opportunity to do another route summed up his feelings toward the day. I enjoyed it though, it wasnt even type 2 fun, mostly type 1. Good shit.