The accident posthumous

This post is going to be a little more light hearted than the previous ones. Since the last one ive been and come back from cham, got fit and lost weight in the gym, done some first ascents and done some Pembroke horror show repeats, and had a birthday. Sick

First to Chamtown. Got there after a pretty long trek on the coach with a pissed french dude and some loud smelly fat women sat near me. Not a brilliant start really. Arrived well early so went and got our free bus passes from the tourist office by pretending we were staying in one of the campsites. Then headed toward argentiere to get established, the shack had some long term residents in it so hti up Bernards campsite. Managed to only pay for one nights stay as the next day we fucked off up the mer de glace to the Couvercle hut for some rock acclimatisation. After the slog up the sketch ladders ( I would stick in some pictures but unfortunately have none) found the hut under the Moine, the hill we'd come to do. Checked into the hut and scoped out the start of the south east ridge integral route planned for the next day, looked a lot longer than the 600m predicted by the guidebook but assumed it was foreshortened or something. I wasnt feeling brilliant at this stage, and after an oright nights sleep didnt feel masses better. This feeling of being completely battered continued all next day on the ridge, we later worked out to be about 1000m long (fucking Lindsay Griffin. Twat) I was unfit and not ready to be in Cham, having had to take 4 weeks off all exercise 'cos of my foot, jumping straight into a long rock ridge route on Chamonix granite was asking for trouble. And thats exactly what i got. 17.5hours after starting we got back to the hut, having only drunk a litre of water and some scraps stolen from the huts breakfast bar. I wasnt in a good state. It was on the way down that i decided i was coming back home to the Uk to get fit. So thats what i did. I left Cham 4 days later after running away from the campsite at 1am after the climbing world cup, escaping to the shack for a night out on the veranda under the stars. Brilliant night. Next day i got the coach home and the training began.

Above: The slog up the Mer de Glace, the '600m' ridge of the Moine is the left hand skyline.

Trad in a sporty world. When i got back to the diff i went to the gym everyday for 2 weeks and started toying with the idea of going climbing. The first time i went climbing was at a newish crag a bunch of climbers have been developing called Crymlin near Pontypool, South Wales. They'd done what most sports crag bolters do and stand at the bottom spraying clip-able bullets at the entire place. Which is another discussion in itself but one i try to stay away from as its more hassle and notoriety than its worth. But Gary Gibsons a twat. Anyway, there was a solid F6a+ crack, that was slightly wider than fist jams but not wide enough for stacked jams so with my knuckles baring all i went at it with my blue camalot an cracked the beast. First trad ascent done. Felt good, was good as well as my 'mentor' did the first ascent and bolted it. So the young upstart gets one up on the old fart. Only got to do routes like Kitten Claws and Owl and the Antelope first now... is gunna take some doing.

The following weekend i got into a chavmobile, complete with massive soundsystem, massive wheels and no boot space to make my way to Pembroke, stopping at Llanelli to have tea. Had a brilliant weekend, got scared in mother scarys but it all culminated brilliantly in hollow caves bay. Sick place if you've never been.

Above: Spot the climbers..... (both are wearing white tops on the third pillar from left)

So we abbed into this place with the intention of chekcing out a route called Galactic Glory (HVS 5a) a 3star route he'd never heard of or done. It turned out he'd not heard of it for a reason. The higher beings at Rockfax had made it up, well some of it its really more like E2 5b but is definately 3stars if not top50. Sooo good but definately gunna lure some unwanting HVS people down there. Shotgun the crag swag! Was a bit epic getting out, an RP#3 protecting the crux moves on the second pitch onto the arete being the high point, but i thouroughly enjoyed myself and as i hadnt climbed properly for pretty much 2 months i was happy with the progress.

Above: Me on the arete of Galactic Glory a definate 3star route in an 'atmospheric' setting.

Back from Pembroke, training continued, then i had my birthday. Another year older, a little more jaded, a little less accepting of societies dicks. But meh im off on holiday, a real person holiday with a pool and beaches and shit. Will have to see how i cope, but a week back in Pembroke when i get back should sort me out :D!